Ademola Adeleke: It’s Dancing Time I used to think this gentleman was “English-language” challenged. In local parlance, that is someone who “tabon” a lot. Tabon is when you speak bad English. I once listened to him speak at Chief Obasanjo’s birthday and cringed in small embarrassment at the struggle. But what I saw at the ARISE NEWS Townhall was different. His command of English, even with the “yorubaish” accent, was impressive. As my friend Taiwo tried to wrestle him with “Osun has bad roads,” he quickly shut her down. “That is a federal road; I have built so many federal roads without being paid back.” I liked that. I remember that I have always sha loved this man, especially with his dancing skills and his happy-go-lucky mien. Anyway, by the time you finish reading this, the elections in Osun would have passed, and hopefully if everything goes well, he will retain his seat. He is the David in this contest, and the Goliaths have been doing all within their power to grab and run with victory. From the EFCC fiasco, to the arrest and release of his officials, and the dumping of so-called APC heavyweights, including the heavily English-challenged governor from Edo State, whose statement that Adeleke only knows how to dance led to his jaundiced WAEC statement being displayed again on the internet, the ruling Goliath is doing all within its power to snatch this one. But it seems that not only the Osun people and right-thinking Nigerians are with the dancer, the host of Israel is also with him as he seems to be waxing stronger each passing day. The involvement of his megastar nephew, Davido, is not helping the case of the Goliaths, as he is deploring his huge influence and power on the side of his uncle. “I am here in support of Adeleke, though I won’t shout about it. My record in Nigerian elections is terrible. Almost everyone I’ve supported has lost, except Babajide Sanwo-Olu. From Akan Udofia in Akwa Ibom to my brother Asue Ighodalo in Edo and even Desmond Elliot in Lagos, they’ve all lost. So I’ve decided to keep my mouth shut this time. If it goes south again, God forbid, it’ll really pain me. On my knees I remain. Thank you. Senator Orji Uzor Kalu: A Wonderful Man This is another kind of comedic appeal that keeps the amusement going in our political process. Listening to this man speak reminds me of that wonderful character, Clarus of the New Masquerade fame. He always thinks he is clever by half and that he has given so much to Nigeria and has been paid back with lemons. I can only just laugh anytime he jumps on air and, in his very thick “Igbo accent”, screams: “You people were sitting here when Obasanjo almost destroyed everything I worked for.” Mbok, if one even goes to look at his “hard labour,” all you will see there is “rent.” People who have benefitted so much from the loopholes in our very stupid system would now be parading themselves as angels, and as such we must do everything within our powers to canonise them Well, my issue with the senator is not about his riches, nor the justification, nor otherwise of his journey to jail, but the teaser of an impending interview he granted a TV station later. Although the interview would be aired just before you read this, I could not wait to push out my sarcasm on the broth that he was saying in the teaser. He said – hopefully not AI – that if every house in Abuja is searched, $60m would come out in cash and that President Tinubu should give out amnesty for the thieves to return the funds without being prosecuted or something like that. My people, you see the thought process of a clear member of the ruling elite? A former governor, now a senator, and I suppose a presidential aspirant? That thieves be given clemency instead of the investigative and judicial institutions doing their work? If for nothing else, this shows an admission by him and those he represents of a lack of faith in the process and institutions. So it is now for the president to go begging to thieves – please bring out your loot, and I won’t prosecute. Na this kind thing dey tire person for this our country, I swear. Anytime someone will look at Dangote Refinery and the Fintech unicorns to give himself hope about this country, an Uzor Kalu will come up and scatter the whole thing again. I just tire. Imagine. Temi Popoola: Let’s Take It Slow The whole wide world knows how much I don’t joke with this young chap. Temi Popoola is the head honcho at the super-performing NGX. The NGX, which is the Nigerian stock exchange, was recently adjudged the most profitable globally, and this is because of the reforms within it that have boosted investor confidence. Well, the government has seen this and has decided to drag its performance into the basket that they want to show Nigerians as
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